Genuine till the mask slips

 The concept of being genuine has been on my mind lately, and perhaps more importantly, the trust that someone is being authentic.  This is often the season when we re-evaluate whether our relationship with others is genuine. Authenticity isn't about who we are - it's about whether others believe that what they are seeing is real.    

I recently overheard a conversation involving someone I’d known for years. He was on the phone, recounting a conversation he’d had earlier with someone else. When that call ended, he immediately phoned another person to retell the same story.

The problem was that the stories didn’t align.

In one version, he was the confident problem-solver — the big man on campus, the voice of reason. In the version I overheard, he was something else entirely: a braggart, rifling through his Rolodex in search of validation and the next hit of approval.
(Yes, I’m fully aware that the Rolodex reference dates me.)

It made me wonder what it really means to be genuine. Was he being genuine in that moment, tucked away behind a closed door, assuming no one was listening? Was the persona he sold to others the truth — or was this quieter, messier version the more honest one?

It's not a hidden secret that I do not trust easily, and even when I do trust someone, it does not take much for the pendulum to swing the other way again, back to distrust.  And more often than not, it's moments like the one about that that set it into motion - the mismatch of genuine.  

So to every woman who has ever apologized for a man, who has said things like “He only gets like that when…” or “He’s usually not like this” — here’s the hard truth: yes, he is.

We all wear masks. But when those masks slip — when we think we’re unseen — what shows up isn’t the exception. It’s the truest version of ourselves. Its important for all of us to pay attention when that mask slips, when we get to see the real version of themselves.  Believe in patterns.